Marla Stress Cries

So, Tuesday night was hell. I woke to the wind at 3:30 and spent the next two hours listening to the snapping, tearing sounds of the wind ripping through my borrowed tent. In the morning, it was halfway collapsed and the poles were bent, and the wind was nowhere near being over.

Trying to stay calm, I ask my crew leader, Agnes, for help. I get the "Yeah, we'll fix it" answer that means, "I want to help you, but I have no time."

I head back to the tent to put bigger rocks in the corners, and watch as as stronger gust of wind knocks it flat and starts blowing it away. I yell "Help!" a couple of times, and Scottie and John and Luis come over and do their best with rocks and stakes to make the damn thing wind-worthy. Meanwhile, I stand back and think to myself, "This isn't going to work. This tent is toast."

As I walk toward the campfire, I realize I'm halfway crying, mostly out of frustration and simple lack of sleep. I walk past the fire and find a solitary rock behind a tree to sit on.

However, 'alone' does not exist here. I have been on my solitary rock for less than a minute before Luis comes up behind me and asks what's wrong. Ah, Luis. A sweetheart and a good soul. He puts his arm on my shoulders and tells me it will be okay and offers to let me sleep in his tent and in general tries to get a smile from me- but, I'm still at the point where human contact just makes the tears fall faster.

Agnes comes over and consoles me as well. I try to explain myself- "This is just what I do when I'm frustrated." She tells me she uses that rock for the same purpose.

Later, I will return from work to find my tent flattened again, and ten feet away from where I left it. Frostt will help me disassemble it and put it away. Hannah will give me a spot in her tent, and we will lay our sleeping bags side by side. And I will sleep. Finally.