a very slight unease.

Damn damn damn.

Let me tell you a story.
Once upon a time, I thought, really REALLY thought, I was in love.
I even asked my mother for advice.
But in the end, I didn't breathe a word of this to the one it actually involved. Because we were friends. I still think that was a good choice.
...He's married now.
Anyway...
I've always thought this was one of those experiences of my naive youth, that was mostly good and made me happy for a while and taught me a few things and didn't leave any noticeable scars.

But I think what it did was make me a good deal more "careful" with my emotions. And maybe that isn't such a good thing.
I feel like I'm on the edge of feeling something, but I keep trying to be logical. I force myself to think critically, to look at the facts, to adopt "to hell with it" as my mantra and not focus on someone who has not given me a single perceivable sign of interest. But all this does is keep me on the edge. A feeling, or a shadow of a feeling, is there, and has been there for a while, and I cannot get rid of it. So mostly I'm trying to wait it out.

It feels like it's been a hell of a long wait.

Damn.